Children and Chores
I have a four-year-old and one on the way. I’m big about dividing chores and helping out. At this point, my son, Jaden, doesn’t have many chores per say, but does have to actively help around the house. Daily he is required to pick up his toys and take them back to his room, keep his room tidy and on laundry days, he willingly gathers all the dirty laundry and takes it to the laundry room. Considering he’s just turned four, I haven’t felt unreasonable as a parent expecting the help. With baby on the way, he’s looking forward to taking on more responsibility with diapers and such. I’m looking forward to those changes at year end.
I offer no incentives such as an allowance for Jaden. At this point he gets praise and if he’s really wanting something special, I will give him a few extra things to do and will gladly get the item(s) for him. I plan on using an allowance later in his life to help teach him financial responsibility.
What are your views on children and responsibilities/chores? Are you offering an incentive for their assistance or just offer praise? If you are offering an allowance, how did you derive what each child should earn versus the chores that they complete?
Rebecca Laffar-Smith replied:
*jaw drops* I’m simply amazed that your 4yo willingly cleans up his room and picks up his toys. My 8yo will do hers if told to but my 4yo usually gets a stubborn glint in his eye.
We do have reward charts and pocket money but neither are true incentive for cleaning up since their mess really is their responsibility. I’m always quick to offer the (I feed, house, and clothe) you routine if the older one wants to complain.
They’re also supposed to put their laundry directly into the hamper in the laundry so I don’t have to go looking for it when I want to do a load.
Praise works for the most part, so does incentives like having a tidy home to share with school friends etc. I think the most effective way to ensure kids do the chores they’re supposed to is consistency. I know that’s my greatest problem when it comes to keeping the house tidy. I’m not in there every night walking them through it. Lax leadership leads and a poor example is going to bring out the worst in them. I think you must already be great in that department since your 4yo is already amazingly cooperative.
May 8, 2008 at 12:46 am. Permalink.
Mysti replied:
Jaden can be quite a handful and some days will fight when it’s time to clean, but as long as I’m doing something too, he’s game! I do my best to show by example and hope that he’ll continue to help as he grows and ages.
Just this week, Jaden received a movie that he really wanted. We discussed it while in the store and I started asking him what he had done really special in the last couple of weeks. He talked about helping to clean the living room (which he did and vacuumed with the little hand held vac) and kept his room clean. After that discussion, it was easy to offer up the video and he understood that his positive behavior and assistance is why he received the movie.
May 9, 2008 at 2:16 pm. Permalink.
Kathy Slattengren replied:
It’s a great idea to start children doing chores when they are 4 years old. They are usually eager to help out at that age (although need plenty of instructions). We created chore charts for our kids (one chore every day plus some every day chores like setting/clearing the table) and hung them in the kitchen. Regular chores set the expectation that everyone in the family is responsible for helping to maintain the household.
We also gave our kids allowance around age 4 (not connected to doing chores … they were expected to do chores because they were part of our family). The allowance was a wonderful way to teach them about money and to end begging at the store. When they wanted to buy something we said “Sure, you can buy that as long as you have the money for it.” My daughter thought long and hard before parting with any of her money. My son rapidly spent whatever came his way. Both kids learned that once you spend your money it’s gone!
July 14, 2008 at 8:12 am. Permalink.