It’s been on my mind
It was twelve years ago this month that I smoked my first cigarette. What seemed to be a harmless event has plagued my life since. I’ve found myself controlled by the urge and desire to smoke. After meals, upon waking, during moments of stress and even out of sheer boredom. Those moments have been on my mind, along with the well-being of my son and myself.
I watched my mom slowly meet her death that was far from pleasant. I can recall being twelve years old when she first went on oxygen support. What started as a nightly regiment turned quickly into a 24 hour support system that fed her body and lungs. The years attached to an oxygen tank left their mark on her body. Eventually she had a trans tracheotomy to avoid the nasal canulas. She died in November 2001.
I don’t want to be that person. Not for myself or my son. I want to have a long and healthy life, be there for my grandchildren and more so, I want to prove to myself that no matter the challenge, I can face it head on with determination.
Tomorrow marks my day to shine. I’ve purchased the necessary supplies and intend on awaking and changing my routine. Perhaps the shake-up in the way I do things is just what I need to divert my attention from the ever-calling and disrupting cigarette.
Dawn replied:
Wow!! Wishing you the best of luck, Mysti!! Talk about leaving old things behind to make room for the new.
I am so proud of your decision and wish you all the best with it.
BTW, I have been thinking and thinking about my numerology report. I definitely want to post it someplace, I just can’t decide whether it should go on my tarot blog or my other blog.
January 3, 2008 at 4:44 pm. Permalink.
Mysti replied:
Today has been a challenge. I can’t say that I’ve gone all day without a cigarette, but I did manage to make it through my entire shift at work without smoking and some time following. This is definitely going to be a challenge for me, but something I will continue to work on. I know it’s a matter of finding the right combination of tools to make the transition as stress-free and easy as possible.
I’m pleased that you have enjoyed your numerology report. I’ll keep an eye out for your posting.
January 3, 2008 at 7:35 pm. Permalink.
NL Beshear replied:
Way to go Mysti, that is a super goal.From what you’ve written I’m guessing it may take you some time to completely quit, but if you significantly cut back on the smoking that’s got to be an improvement.
One thing I’ve heard that helps (I don’t know, it wouldn’t do much for me), is to put money you would spend on cigerettes in a jar. Like, everytime you don’t buy a package put the money you would’ve spent aside, in a jar. At the end of a year (or month) do something fun with you little boy using the money from the “smoking” jar.
Whatever tools you choose to use, I hope they are successful in helping you. I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. Good luck.
ritinrider
January 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm. Permalink.
bc3263827 replied:
I wish you luck, I quit smoking after being a smoker for about 10 years. It was difficult but it has now been almost 3 years since I quit and trust me when I tell you life is much better on the other side. I only wish I had quit earlier.
January 4, 2008 at 5:56 am. Permalink.
Mysti replied:
Thank you both! This is definitely a challenge and one that is going to take some serious work from me. I replaced my coping mechanism twelve years ago for smoking. I can’t get out and run the same way I did then, thanks in part to a knee injury. Finding the coping skills I need to stop smoking during those extremely trying moment will be key.
January 4, 2008 at 8:11 am. Permalink.
A Hard Go « My Journey replied:
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January 15, 2008 at 12:53 pm. Permalink.