Creepy, Crawly and Not-So-Welcomed
As I jumped in the shower, my son kept running back into the bathroom to tell me that the UPS man was at the door. My son, in his wisdom of three-years-old, decided he would open the door and invite the said stranger into my home. Luckily, the driver opted not to take my son’s inappropriate invitation.
As I quickly jumped out of the shower, praying my son did not open the door, I was greeted by one of those not-so-welcomed arachnids. After an unsuccessful attempt to squash the bugger, he darted and hid in the corner. A quick reach for a spray bottle of cleaner allowed me the opportunity to put an end to the threatening arachnid without damaging his freakishly large body.
I did a quick search on-line to ensure that the gruesome creature was not a hobo spider; of great concern as their venom is comparable to that of a brown recluse. In that search, I discovered this particular spider is neither of those, however, it’s possibly the one who has caused much disruption to my legs in recent months.
Although I’m not an avid fan of taking out any of God’s creatures, spiders have become my foe rather quickly this summer with countless bites occurring on my legs while sleeping. My home is now one spider less, and that, my dear readers, is a welcomed feeling.
Proofreader Anyone??
I am notorious for scanning the freelance ads for various companies on a couple different sites. Today I came across an ad for a national chain seeking a proofreader. In about twenty minutes, I tore their ad apart and sent it back to them for their review. I noted that I don’t live in the general area in which they are seeking an employee, however, casually mentioned that I do work from home doing editing for BAN as well as freelance as projects come available.
I have to bring this forward, however. In the layout of their job ad, they have a table format listing experience required, pay, etc. The first issue standing out against a red background was “Experiance.” Just for the record – Experiance is not spelled with an “A” it does contain an “E,” as in E-X-P-E-R-I-E-N-C-E.
Thought of the day: Post nothing viewable to the public to scrutinize unless you undoubtedly know there are no serious issues.
Reflections
Life is an amazing experience. There are events that transpire every day. While some I can recall with great clarity, others seem to vanish midst my memory until someone or something comes along and brings that memory to surface once again.
A few nights ago, at work, I was standing in the well of the bar and a gentleman sitting next to my well struck up a conversation. I do not recall the first words that he said to me, but the discussion of my eye color (or colors more accurately stated) happened. He made a statement that caught me off guard, a reference to Angels and their presence in our lives.
It was that reference that brought with it a flash of memories from a few times in my life. I continued our conversation although I was distracted and unable to grasp what all he had stated at that point.
I went about my work and when I returned to that area of the bar, he was gone… only after leaving a message for me to email him, as he would like to continue our conversation.
The memories that surfaced in my life have played a huge part in my own spirituality and faith.
The first memory I remember is nearly drowning in a swimming pool. I was wearing a strawberry shortcake swimsuit and I took a step off the stairs and found myself immobilized. I felt so comfortable and warm in the water. I remember looking up towards the sky and all I could see was a while light. I did not want to move. I was perfectly content and not even concerned about breathing.
I remember rising out of the water by hands below me and forced out of the state of comfort and peace. I remember gasping for air. It was that moment of coming out of the water; the memories of discontent, discomfort and frustration began and continued throughout my life with the events that transpired thereafter.
It was many years later, just before Reiley, my first child, died that I can recall the second incident this conversation brought forward in my mind.
I was sitting in the chair at the computer; frustrated with the entire situation I was living. I could not deal with controlling actions by someone else and felt trapped in all the responsibility that weighed on my shoulders. I was on the verge of crying when I saw her.
From the corner of the vaulted ceiling, a woman, appearing to be in her 30’s made her decent. She had soft curls around her round face, appearing to be very healthy and a bit heavy set. She was in a blue dress with a flowing bell shaped skirt. There was a ribbon in a slightly lighter shade of blue that wrapped around her waist that flattered her figure well. She stretched her hand out towards me and said everything would be okay and what was about to occur was part of my life plan. She assured me that I would be okay and to keep my faith. There was a plan for me.
The next few months were challenging to say the least. The years after those events proved to be even more difficult.
The third and final account this conversation brought to the surface of my mind was my suicide attempt in June 2001.
I remember all of the negative emotions and thoughts that surrounded all I was feeling. Even though I knew there would be a few people who would miss me, I still said my good-byes and intended to end my life – right then.
I began taking pills, by the handful. I opened Pepsi after Pepsi and consumed them as quickly as I could. I cried at how horrible my life was and how much I missed my son. I thought of the treatment I received by someone who said he loved me and those thoughts brought a sense of resolution in my actions, my choice.
It was hours later when I awoke. I remember the gray that surrounded me. The feelings of indecisiveness swirled inside. I remember feeling love at the same time. I remember seeing this angel during that time. Her dress was silver, with layers and layers of a rippled fabric. Some areas were of deeper and richer shades of silver while other areas accented and filled with light and brightness. The bodice reminded me of an old English style dress, similar to that of the Elizabethan Era. A white lace stretched outside of her beautiful gown just above her bust. I remember feeling mesmerized by the incredible beauty that radiated from her.
She spoke with me and offered her support through my staying and continuing my tasks in life. There were details that she spoke about almost in a way of convincing me that my time was not complete. She pointed me back to the couch where my body laid and in an instant, I awoke.
I picked up the phone and called my mom. I reached out to her in an attempt to find strength to do what was necessary. She convinced me to call the police and call her back. I did just that and stayed in the hospital for three days until I returned home.
I have had some amazing experiences in my life. It amazes me at how quickly they were thrown to the far reaches of my memory and yet, with a very simple conversation, those experiences were brought back to the surface with a great intensity. Life and reflections of those past occurrences allows an amazing moment to recharge and understand where I have been and how far I have traveled since.
"Just Hit Send"
There’s a great little place on the web for those writing and even those wanting to get a jump into a writing career. Residing within the virtual walls of the forum, one can find hundreds of people with amazing knowledge of the writing world – from all aspects.
The freelance forum of AbsoluteWrite had a fantastic motivating thread for those branching out on their own to complete work for many sources. Magazines, companies, blogs and more are just part of the work some users do.
If you have a spare moment and want some extra support and encouragement to accomplish your writing goals, I’d definitely stop by and say hello! I’ll be happy to offer all the support you could ever desire (when I’m not busily writing, that is.)
A Castle for A King
The imagination of children never ceases to amaze me. The untouched innocence and imagination is spectacular!
This morning, my son, Jaden brought out his tub of blocks and eagerly wanted to build a rocket and a castle. Off to the living room floor I went with much anticipation of the breaking down of what we were going to build.
These blocks have been part of Jaden’s life since he could grasp them. Once used for gross motor skill development; they’ve found their new place with fine motor skill development and more importantly, a key to the imagination of my son’s mind.
Relationship Do’s and Not-To-Do’s
A friend of mine posted this on her private blog. I felt it was definitely worthy of sharing here, too. Do’s
- Communicate. Communication is important. If you find that when you try to communicate your feelings to your partner it always leads to an argument, try writing your feelings down. Read through what you’ve written. If you find things that are just petty problems with no real validity, eliminate them. Try to find the sources behind your words. For example, jealousy, are you jealous because you know he/she is cheating, or does it go deeper? Did someone cheat on you in the past and now you don’t trust anyone? Is your partner giving you what you need to feel secure? Once you realize where the feelings are coming from, you can address fixing the problem.
- Resist making accusations. Approach your partner calmly, without being defensive. Tell him/her the problem. Don’t be accusing or they will become defensive and yes, you will end up in an argument. If you find it’s easier to write it in a letter, then do so. Leave while they read it so you aren’t hovering over them, waiting for their reaction. Let them process what you have said. Again, do not be accusing. Tell them you want to make your relationship better. Have suggestions for BOTH of you, not just them. Be sure you know the core problem and aren’t just mentioning a symptom.
- Refrain from insulting your partner during arguments. Fighting dirty can quickly become a habit and eventually someone will say something that the other person cannot forget, or worse, forgive.
- Take time to tell your partner why you love him/her. Not once, but often. This can be something as small as a compliment on how they look. Your partner needs to know you appreciate them. Don’t just assume they know. Everyone likes to be reminded they are loved.
- Be supportive and look for ways to give your partner the things they need the most. Even if they don’t tell you what they need, you can figure it out if you pay attention. Some people have a hard time telling you what they need but there are clues. If you’re not sure, ask.
- Don’t neglect yourself. If your needs aren’t being met, find a way to let your partner know. If you are unhappy, you will eventually blame your partner. It’s much easier to let them know, in a positive way, the things you need.
- Never try to solve a problem when you are angry. Take time to cool down. I know this can seem impossible at times but think about it. Is anything ever really solved when you are yelling at each other?
- Set aside some time for just the two of you. If not once a week, then at least once a month. This should be quality, alone time, however you two choose to spend it. You might try arranging a specific day each week and take turns planning what you will do.
- Discuss decisions that affect the both of you and try to find a solution that will keep you both happy. Never make an important decision that affects you both without talking to your partner.
- Don’t Lie! Everyone lies occasionally. It’s in our nature. This isn’t an excuse to lie to your partner. Every time you are caught in a lie, a little more trust is taken away. A healthy relationship requires trust. Never ever lie about things important to the relationship. You’re better off facing the music if you’ve done something wrong then being caught in a lie.
- This won’t keep you together but it is important to mention. Know when it’s time to leave and make the break.Don’t let anyone use you or abuse you. Most problems can be worked out if both people in the relationship make an effort to improve things. There are some exceptions. It’s time to leave if the relationship becomes abusive. Do not hope things will get better because he/she says they will change. Leave! If at some future time they actually do change, you can consider getting back together then. Another deal breaker is infidelity. If your partner cheats on you, there is a good chance that even if you do stay together, the trust that keeps a relationship alive will be gone. I’m not saying you can’t survive it, but it will take a great deal of effort from both people and your partner will have to stop. Never give them more than one chance to do so or you will be setting yourself up for a very destructive emotional roller coaster. If your partner sees that it’s possible to cheat and you will keep forgiving, why would they change?
Not-To-Do’s
Let’s take a look at five styles of handling conflict, along with alternative solutions for each.
Ready-Fire-Aim
These folks are the shooters of conflict. They live by the motto “cross me and you will pay.” Instead of ready-aim-fire, they shoot first and ask questions later. This style causes lots of damage and usually serves to isolate the shooter.
Alternative solution: In the words of Stephen Covey, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” If you take the time to understand someone and that person’s point of view, it’s a whole lot easier to keep your shooter in its holster.
Crock potters
They let a conflict simmer for a while. Sometimes it can be as harmless as needing to mull things over before handling conflict. At their worst, crock potters simmer and seethe, building resentments, blowing up, or both.
Alternative solution: It can be healthy and productive to mull it over before you respond in a conflict. Instead of allowing it to boil over, agree on a time you will sit down together and calmly address the conflict.
Me right/you wrong
This style of conflict really is as primitive as Tarzan. People who hold tightly to the right to be right can go to just about any length to prove they are right, even to the point of ending the relationship.
Alternative solution: Punt. Give up the right to be right. Check out what you might be able to learn from the other point of view, which might even be as valid as your own. Shocking, I realize, but highly possible. The simple truth is that in marriage there are times when you can be right or be happy, but not both.
Tomb-ers
They elevate the infamous silent treatment to an art form. Conflict arises and they shut down. When you ask what’s wrong, their reply is either “nothing” or “everything’s fine,” but you know better.
Alternative solution: Usually tomb-ers have a strong fear of conflict, believing that any conflict will end the relationship. Quite the opposite is true _ not dealing with the conflict can kill the relationship from within. Here are some words to begin with: “Can I tell you what I’m uncomfortable with here?”
Historians
They remember every fault, mistake and blunder ever made by their partner, including what was said, what you wore and where you were standing at the time. And, they’re more than willing to remind you, in detail.
Alternative solution: Get a dry-erase board. Write the current conflict on the blank board. Deal with it. Resolve it. Erase it. Over, done with, gone.
"The Super Sleuths are on the Case"
For anyone with children who are into the Disney channel, that slogan is all too familiar! In my household, however, I have to be the “Super Sleuth.”
Today’s case: The Missing Jack Daniels® Tank-Top
Last Seen: Sometime last week during the blazing hot temperatures; worn for an afternoon then removed in the bathroom prior to showering (Yes, I do take showers!)
Imminent Need: I must wear this shirt to work tonight or risk having to dress in the dreaded black shirts and black shirts with cowboy boots that leave blisters on various parts of my feet
The problem: My three-year-old son is notorious for misplacing objects throughout the house. Aside from my structure in organization with business matters, the rest of my house seems to lack that same structure.
Action Taken: As I have now searched this place from top to bottom, I have yet to find the missing shirt. My only hope; it happened to make it into the laundry basket and into the washer before I received the call.
Continuing Course of Action: Wait out the washer and pray to the Gods above that my shirt will suddenly reappear and save my ever-loving butt!
Product Review: Nad’s
I have always been one of those ladies who absolutely hates to shave her legs! In light of that wonderful piece of insight about myself; I have a product review for all the women out there!
Product Name: Nad’s Hands Free Hair Removal Cream
Smell: It could smell worse, but comes close to burning the hairs out of my nose. 3/10
Ease of Use: If you consider the product is meant to be hands free; the sheer fact that I ended up with hair removal cream under my finger nails says it all. The bottle is difficult to squeeze, awkward to hold and the product is thicker than most hair removal creams. 2/10
Results: At the end of 5 minutes, as directed, hair was not even close to being ready for removal. I waited the additional five minutes and was able to remove about 1/2 of the hair on my legs. The tattoo on my ankle (now seven years old) is raised as if it is a fresh tattoo after using this product, however. (1/10)
This is one product I would definitely not recommend for anyone to use. The time and aggravation is worse than having a bikini wax done.
