A Moment

There are these little moments that always seem to catch me totally off guard and remind me of how amazing life and living truly are. I’ve had more than my fair share of those moments in the past couple of weeks and through all of that; I’ve realized just how much I have in my life. We aren’t doing doing things every day and many times spend more time cooped up as a family together in our apartment; but it’s been those moments, the family moments together that have left me feeling so blessed.

What happens when you reach that moment when saying “I love you” no longer seems to justify all that you feel? Is that the moment when you realize you’ve found everything that you could ever want in that relationship? I’ve reached that point and when I those three words to Rob; they feel so unworthy of everything that I am saying. I have such a deep and incredible sense of love, caring, understanding, respect, honor and desire for an amazing future – together; every single time I say that.

There are moments when I’m sure that everything that we have will be disrupted by something in our lives; as that’s been the fantastic pattern in my life; however something is so different this time round and I haven’t been able to place it – perhaps it’s the way he gets angry when I’m obviously angry at him and I don’t want to talk about it right at that moment, maybe it’s the way he looks at me and I have to question exactly what is running through his mind at that moment in time – because I do, really, want to know. Whatever it is; the difference, between the relationship that we share and every person that has come into my life before I guess doesn’t matter. What matters is we are here and we are now.

I can honestly say that when we talked about getting married in the past and set a date; I was so scared, I didn’t want to make a mistake as I will only get married once in my life – and never want to go through a divorce. I questioned everything and actually felt quite disrupted to start. I never spoke to him – or anyone about those feelings and now; they appear to me as a childish way to get out of a commitment – the commitment I couldn’t dream of my life without now.

So there it is in a nutshell. I’ve finally reached the point where I have no doubts, no questions, and all the desire in the world to share all of my time, all of my life and build an amazing family with one man – the man who I love more than that single word could ever encompass in its meaning.

April 26, 2007. Life. 1 comment.

WOW!

It’s been over a week since I last sat down and took the time to ramble many thoughts together for public view. This week has held much meaning for myself – and in some ways; incredible growth…

I managed to get through my week of work, which in many ways has turned from a fun place to relax and have fun into that seemingly old familiar disgust that equates to a job that just isn’t bringing the same fulfillment. In the course of that time, I’ve been thinking about taking on a part-time job as a property manager for an apartment complex; which would provide housing and a few other great benefits; as well as allow me to cut back the shifts that I’m working at the bar and hopefully turn that type of job back into the fun and enjoyment that I have loved so much in the past; rather than loathe.

We took a trip away this week; and even though it was short, it was completely enjoyable and totally relaxing. I had an absolute blast with everyone and our night out on the town was well worth it. Those friendships have grown and I feel much more connected with those who were there and had great conversations that have left me feeling so rejuvenated.

The other wonderful thing that has occurred in the last week has been the incredible closeness I’ve felt with Rob. As I said at one point to a friend this week, we aren’t back on track, we are much better than we were before and that, in itself, is beyond incredible. I feel very blessed to have that in my life.

Today is another day and tonight I will be at work; making a living and hopefully enjoying myself for the first time in a while. I’m trying to approach the negative aspects of this job in a much more positive manner. I have had the thought about moving to the cocktail side of the bar at least one night a week; which really, might prove to be a great break, as opposed to being on that other side all the time. There are many options there and we’ll see what happens…

Onto other news…

My baby will be three in just a couple of weeks. His birthday is fast approaching and packages are beginning to arrive. I’ve been shamelessly ordering many spiderman items for his room – including all new bedding for his full-sized big-boy bed! I’m looking forward to the time we are able to spend together with all of Rob’s family; including his sister and her family at the Children’s museum in Denver. It’s going to be an exciting and exhausting day all together; but so worth it, too.

That’s it for now… what a week it’s been and this coming week can only be bigger and better!

April 19, 2007. Tags: , , . personal. Leave a comment.

My "weekend"

My weekend is almost over, if weekend is even the right term for those days off that fall within the week. It’s time to get ready to start my work week all over again tomorrow. I can’t say that these days off have been the best, but I’ve certainly managed to fair through the anniversary of Reiley’s death and came out still on top.

I did spend a good portion of the day on Monday working on edits on one of my children’s stories. I have so much more work to get done on that, it’s unbelievable. I took all the notes from having a couple different people edit it and combined them, thought logically about them and applied what I felt really fit the story; versus not giving a rats butt. All in all, I think I’ve ultimately left myself more work to do; but that is the way of life in writing – there’s always something else that can create a much better and more carefully construed story.

Tuesday was an adventure for myself and Jaden. We traveled to Wheatland and back as my dear friend, Heath, had a funeral to attend himself and needed a bit of help and support. It was a welcomed break away from everything here and a good distraction for the day. My thoughts and prayers are still with all of your family, Heath.

Today has been fairly laid back, so far. I didn’t manage to get anything accomplished this morning that has been gnawing at me on that ever growing to-do list; however, this afternoon did bring about a much needed shopping excursion for groceries and household necessities. Nothing like spending a couple hundred dollars for a few weeks worth of food and such. But, alas, it wasn’t the perfect shopping trip as I still forgot a few things that were needed; but they didn’t make it to my two page shopping list. I guess there’s always a quick trip to the store later.

Tomorrow Jaden has his appointment with the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist and we’ll probably have the discussion about Tubes in his ears for the second time. I’m not exactly looking forward to that whole process, but we’ll get through it. I’d much rather my son be able to hear correctly and not deal with nasty ear infections than the other alternatives…

On the list of to-do’s for tonight – closet reorganization, cleaning house and breaking out the barbecue stuff and grilling steaks. Yum!

I hope everyone has a fantastic week!

April 11, 2007. Life. Leave a comment.

Happy Easter!!!!!!!!!

I wish for you to enjoy the time with your loved ones; friends and family, as you feast upon whatever meals land their way to your plate. Celebrate the Greatness of the day, but most of all, remember to show how much you care for those around you!!! They truly are a blessing and must be treated as such.

April 8, 2007. Tags: . holiday. 2 comments.

Friday!

TGIF?? I wish! I have to be at work in an hour and I’m tired, worn out and ready to crawl in bed for the duration. The weather outside is cold, snow-stricken and gloomy. It does make for a great day to sit snuggled up in front of the fireplace with a fire blazing, a couple cups of hot-cocoa or chai tea and a good book or soft music in the background with a pen and paper, allowing me the opportunity to allow my imagination to run rampant on the pages with words carefully construed together; forming a fun story or poem…

And with a snap back into reality; I’m off to finish getting ready for work. Until another day……

April 6, 2007. Tags: , , , . Work. Leave a comment.

Declaration of Independence

As I commented last night, I watched “Pursuit of Happyness” and the title of it caught my attention and began the wheels churning in my never stopping mind. It’s amazing at how our country has changed since July 4, 1776; the day the Declaration of Independence was signed.

The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies
In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. –That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

It is when I read all that our founding father’s so carefully constructed within those lines, that I find myself questioning our own government and the inequality that is present within this country. I find it saddening to believe that these men and all the centuries of lives lost during this time of settling into this country, fighting for their right to freedom from persecution, is all just a mere lesson in history books filling the schools across this ‘great’ nation. The basic rights and needs are no longer accounted for nor appreciated as seen through recent legislation (past 10 years, specifically.)

What are your views on the Declaration of Independence and the meaning behind it; versus the life in which you are living?

April 5, 2007. Tags: , . political. 2 comments.

Laziness

So being totally and completely lazy has set in for me today. I haven’t touched the laundry and I haven’t made a trip to the store, let alone anything else… LOL. I need to find a big boost of aspiration to complete all these tasks or I’ll be completely exhausted by the time I get off work tomorrow night……

April 4, 2007. Life. Leave a comment.

Warning – Pictures!



Here are a few shots I’ve taken of Jaden in March.

I figured I would take the opportunity to show off my world… I can’t wait to get him outside again in the next couple of weeks to catch a few others.

I have a month until my baby turns three and I can’t believe it’s coming so quickly! Where does the time go???

April 4, 2007. Tags: , , . pictures. Leave a comment.

Things…

So Easter Sunday will be spent with Rob’s family in his parents’ new house. We aren’t doing anything fancy, but it will be great to spend time together. I’m in charge of dessert, and thinking about doing a pound cake for strawberry short cake or something along those lines. I’m looking forward to that!!!

I highly recommend watching “Pursuit of Happyness” if you get the chance. We rented it and watched it tonight. WOW! I really can’t say much more or I’ll give it all away. It’s a DEFINITE worth-while show!! The title and theme of the movie has my brain churning and will probably result in another one of those brain-teasing posts. (c: One has to love inspiration.

Jaden is definitely feeling a thousand times better and has been bouncing off the walls the past couple of days. We had a great time today and this evening all together as a family. As he said, “I’m so happy you have days off.” Although, he was insisting that I had 5 years off work. What a ham.

That’s about it for now. I think I’m going to get myself tucked into bed for the long haul and get my day ready to go again tomorrow. Nothing like laundry to occupy one’s time. (c:

April 4, 2007. Tags: , , , , . Inspiration. Leave a comment.

Ahhhhhh, relaxing…

I didn’t get out of bed until just after 11 and we all went out to lunch, or in my case, breakfast. It was nice and relaxing! Now it’s approaching time for Jaden to take a nap, and to be honest, I’m going to lay back down for a couple more hours of sleep before our evening filled with family visits and making plans for Easter finds it’s way here.

On that note, It’s ALREADY EASTER! Wow! Spring has finally sprung it’s way into our lives and the summer filled with barbecues and fun times outside is fast approaching!!!

It’s time to go catch a short nap….

April 3, 2007. Tags: . Life. Leave a comment.

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