Jaden update!
My little man is DEFINITELY feeling much better. He’s been fun spirited and ready to run a muck all day long! The bad thing about a child starting to feel like a million buck is their uncontrollable desire to make up for all the naughty behavior that they didn’t display while under the weather. 
It’s going to be a LONG week! But, I’m glad my bug is feeling better!
Here we go again!
I went in this afternoon to copy down my work schedule for the next month. I honestly expected to walk in and see me having certain days off as that is how my schedule has been and is the way it should be. I figured there would be the occasional change throughout the month where I would have to cover a day on my normal days off, however, it would basically be the same. That was not at all what I discovered.
My entire schedule has been flip-flopped! I will no longer be working on Saturdays, which is my biggest money making night and instead of having my three days off that I desperately have to have together, I will be stuck working on my family night that I’ve had for months; Mondays. I’m so upset and angry that my schedule was disrupted in such a manner.
The disruption in my schedule has me questioning many things. The first thought that has run through my mind is the boyfriend of the Bar Manager who did all the scheduling has issues with Rob’s brother as they were once in a band together and have recently split. The only two days of the week that he works there are Fridays and Saturdays. His influence and requests give him a great deal of favoritism when it comes to the schedule and what he needs. Even last night, as we were finishing up, he passed a rude comment about Rob’s brother and I got pissed and told him I didn’t want to hear it; and he continued on, so I said it again, which finally shut him up.
Being in a position where I have lost my biggest money making night frustrates me to no end and is making me seriously consider finding another job. That’s the most difficult aspect to this, and as much as I’d love to “stay put” especially after some of my regulars from Rawlins finding me there; I’m having to face this decision now…
Sleep……. I NEED SLEEP!
Jaden is still sick, and woke up this morning sometime around 630 or 7, had a fever again, and after getting medicine, we snuggled into the couch to take a short nap, only to have the phone ring before 9. Why in the hell would people call this place so early when I don’t even get to go to sleep until sometime between 4 and 5 when I work? Give me a break, people!!!
Sleep, a cozy warm bed with nice fluffy blankets is calling me… now, if I had the energy to go find where it resides….
Work, Work, Work
I went into work tonight, having left a bit early to account for the nasty roads and the 15 miles under I always manage to drive when it’s that nasty out. I barely made it to work on time as there was a car accident that blocked my turn for a while. >I need a great rolling eyes graphic here.<
We share tips at work, which occurs in many places, but for Pete’s sake! When there are 3 people taking care of the flow that only one and maybe a few moments of help from a manager are needed, no one is going to make a dime. I took it upon myself to even ASK to close down the Tiki bar (bar I was working tonight) as it was so slow. That didn’t happen and I was ready to run out the door hours before I finally was able to leave after closing the bar down.
Tomorrow will be another one of those nights, I’m feeling. I have to be at work for a grueling 11 hours and they are all going to tick by rather slowly as most people don’t appreciate having to fight slick roads and horrible drivers just for a good time. I’m definitely not one of the few that would venture out. Oh well, it’s another day in paradise…
Do NOT call!
Just as a friendly reminder, if you haven’t registered on the national “Do Not Call” list, I’d suggest that you do. Having had moved and collecting a new phone number, I’ve had numerous “Buy this” calls and have requested that my number be removed from their calling lists, but still get calls. Here is the national registry.
My poor baby…
My little man is officially sick. He has the flu, yes folks, influenza! We made a trip to the doctors this morning to discover that fact; not that I couldn’t have guessed that as we’ve all had it and I knew how miserable I was. In any event, the doctor did tell me something that I didn’t know… Jaden’s tubes have both now come out of his ears and it’s left him with a double ear infection to boot. Needless to say, it’s high-dose antibiotics for him and a trip to the Ear Nose and Throat doc sometime next week or the week after for another consultation and possibly a second surgery. There’s my not-so-chipper little man.
Inspiration….
Inspiration comes in many forms and through many different mediums in our lives; or in my life, at least. There are certain songs that I can listen to a thousand times and each time I hear them, they take me back to a moment in my life where I encountered a flood of emotion or take me to a dream of my future. There are movies I can watch time and time again that still, to this day, bring tears to my eyes as they have the same intense feeling that overcomes me. I’ve had this experience with books I’ve read as well as some poetry.
For me songs such as: One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey; Angels Among Us, Alabama; When you Say Nothing at All, Alison Krause; and Kryptonite, Five for Fighting; all bring about different emotions that leave me speechless. Along those lines a few movies that will forever reign in my heart are; Dirty Dancing, Top Gun and Mr. Holland’s Opus.
So what has made a lasting impression in your life? What movies, songs or writings inspire you every time you hear/read/see them?
Bresnan Update
Rob got on the phone with Bresnan and complained to them, yet again, about service outages. They had scheduled someone to come on on Wednesday but alas, he showed up yesterday. While I’m not complaining that he showed up early, I am! We’ve all been sick and we were all napping well into the afternoon when the bang on the door shot us all awake. At least we have service up and working again! A few phone calls with complaints and we will end up with half of our service paid for by Bresnan this month. Oh pity. NOT!
Reiley
So it’s that time of year again… the time when I bring up a subject that finds itself surrounded with hundreds of thousands of feelings and each year, seems to have an impact on my life in some form or fashion. Yes, the anniversary of Reiley’s death will make it’s seventh appearance in my life in just a few short weeks.
Mathew “Reiley” White was born August 13, 1999 at 5:13 am in Midland, Texas. He was 6 weeks premature, however weighed 5 pounds, zero ounces and was 18 and 1/2 inches long. Under the circumstances, he was a fairly healthy young man; only staying a total of 4 days in the hospital after his birth.
Shortly after he was born, it was requested that I move to Evanston and help care for my mom and brother while I moved forward with my own life. I accepted the offer and at 6 weeks old, Reiley took his first flight across country. We arrived at Salt Lake City airport and then took our drive into Evanston to begin life anew. Our life was fairly basic and we had a routine down to an art. There wasn’t anything that could have thrown a wrench in our daily activities; or at least I had thought.
Early in the morning of April 9, 2000; I came home from work and after picking Reiley up from his sitters and pulled into the driveway like any other night, however, it wasn’t like any other night. There were two police cars, parked on either side of the driveway with their lights on and an ambulance backed in shortly after I pulled in. Instantly, I knew that something was seriously wrong with my mom. I ran through the door, and went upstairs. The paramedics were loading my mom onto a stretcher as she was struggling to breathe worse than I had ever seen before. They left and I couldn’t sleep afterwards. I wanted to be at the hospital with my mom, however, I knew that I had to be home; with my son and my younger brother.
It was sometime around 6 that they stabilized my mom and she was “in the clear” this time round. I managed to ghost through the day with the lack of sleep and managed to catch a very short nap when Reiley took his nap that day. We ate ham, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner that night. Reiley even took part in the feast. We went to sleep sometime around 830 or 9 that night and when the morning came, I awoke in horror that Reiley hadn’t gotten up during the night.
I let out the most horrific blood curdling scream that was heard from the street after I turned on the lights to find my son, my angel, gone. I picked him up and ran straight for my mom’s room, expecting her to be there and to make it all better. My baby brother came in and gave me one cordless phone as I called 9-1-1. I began CPR and my brother made a call from the other phone line, which brought Gary speeding back into Evanston from Carter Creek.
At the point when the first officer arrived, he asked me if I wanted to continue CPR, and there was no way I could continue at that point. I had reached my breaking point and all I could do was cry and beg for them to bring my son back to me. The paramedics checked Reiley out, and pronounced him dead on arrival. They offered numerous times to take me to the hospital, and I kept telling them no, all I wanted was my mom – ironically; who was at the hospital.
That day lives in my memory and provides me with crystal clear images as this anniversary rolls around. I miss my son terribly. I often find myself lost in thought as to what he would be like today, who his friends would be and had it not been for his death, how my life could have been different.
Reiley is my angel – he was my angel on earth and changed me into the person I am, from the person I once was. He will always have a very special and sincere place in my heart and life. I will never forget all that Reiley gave to me all the while making drastic changes I didn’t fully understand until many years later.
Although now I have an absolutely amazing little boy in my life, Jaden, who means the world to me, I still miss my son and still yearn for him in my life. As each anniversary passes, they do become much easier to bear, however, the pain of that wound still carries a powerful bite that brings me to tears at times.
Financial stresses
Rob’s been out of work for almost a month now. I’ve been a raging bitch, to say the least as I’ve been stressed about finances. There’s nothing like having extra money at the end of the month to blow suddenly being ripped from sight. I’ve had to really watch my spending, which is something I just don’t like to do, but it has paid off. It turns out, even without Rob working, it is really feasible for me to cover all of our expenses and yes, there is still a couple hundred dollars left over. HORRAY! The only bill left to pay is rent on this place, and I’ll make that next week. YAY! I feel much better about everything now, and know that I don’t have to stress quite as much as I have been. I’m sure the whole house will appreciate that, as they won’t have to walk on egg-shells around me.
