Feeling Exctied!
Yesterday was a very exciting day for me! I received a call in the early morning, where I was far from truly awake. I had submitted an application to a club in town that I knew was in need of a bartender around Mid-January and Suzie had finally had the opportunity to go through her applications and called me back. She was requesting an interview, but was really curious as to if I had found another job. I told her that I had found another job, but I really wasn’t happy with the income I was seeing for it, and we scheduled the interview for later that afternoon. After an hour and a half of talking, going over various aspects of the requirements at that club, I was offered a job. I start on Saturday and I couldn’t be any happier! I’ll be back to the low-sleep nights, but the financial benefits far outweigh the sleep.
I can finally finish off paying my debt and can begin the incredible process of setting the foundations to the future that I want. It’s going to be a rough road for the next few years as I get everything underway, but the outcome is going to be nothing less than incredible! I truly can’t wait!!
Mysti
When I say “I Love You”
Written for the man I love.
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“I love you.” Those three little words mean so much more to me since you’ve come into my life. I have found myself, at times, so frightened by all that I have felt and the insecurity has prompted me to want to run, far away. You’ve been the stability I’ve needed and shown me that running away isn’t necessary, no matter how frightened I am by feeling vulnerable.
I have been so frightened by this relationship and even more so at the thought of spending my life with you. There has never been a single relationship in my entire life that has been good – truly healthy and wonderful. We’ve struggled and I’ve struggled. We’ve struggled with what used to be such an easy going and carefree relationship and how it has changed into something much more complex. The simplicity and enjoyment that we shared in those early days was phenomenal and it lead to something even better and bigger, but I truly don’t think that either of us expected to have the struggles in which we have shared.
Through it all, the one thing that has remained is so true in my own heart: The love that I have for you. As I’ve sat here and attempted to break it down, I find myself unable to find all the words I want to use that begin to touch the mountain of traits that leave me feeling butterflies in my stomach every time I look at you, feel your arms wrapped around me and each and every time I hear you say “I love you.”
You mean so very much to me. I haven’t been so great at showing you just what you mean to me over the past few months and I want you to know that even if I don’t acknowledge every action that you take or every motion that you make, I know they are there and it only strengthens and reaffirms all that I feel for you, Rob. You are an incredible person and even though you might be uncertain with who you are, what you like and your ultimate desires; I see that as an incredible journey that we, together, will be fortunate to embark. I want to show you things that you may never have thought you would like and see the reaction on your face when you discover something that sparks more than an interest; a passion within you. I want to be there through all of that and more. I love you and for the record, when I say “I love you,” what I’m saying is this and so much more:
I appreciate you for all that you are, all that you aren’t and all that you will become.
I respect you for the choices you’ve made and the actions you’ve taken.
I trust you with my life, the life of my son, and even more so, our future.
I need you without you and all that you encompass, my life seems almost insignificant.
I want you to be part of my dreams, my hopes, my desires; all of them.
I admire you for the honesty that you possess.
I enjoy you for all the laughter we share.
I desire you in every possible way a woman can, does and should.
I crave our moments where nothing else matters except the conversation at hand.
I thank you for your generosity of your time, building dreams and memories with me and for acknowledging who I am.
I love you.
Mysti
Dream a big dream….
I recently picked up a serving job at a little restaurant here. A couple nights ago, I waited on an older couple, both probably nearing their 60’s, possibly a bit older. As I’ve never met a person who was a stranger, we were able to get into some pretty interesting conversations in between ordering, their eating, etc. At one point, the woman of the couple had asked if we had any peach pie, as she was in need of ‘comfort foods.’ I casually asked why in the world she would need comfort food when there was a smile across her apparent tired-stricken face. She began telling me about her business she started six months ago, in the basement of their house. Just recently, she was diagnosed with what could be, a very debilitating disease. The prognosis left her questioning what would happen with the successful business she had created. It was at that time she prayed for God to provide her with an answer; whatever that might be.
Before she knew it, her students increased and with the increase came a couple apprentices she could train to do all that she has done for each and every student that has crossed her path – whatever the reason. It has been the major influx that prompted her to search out business grants, and after securing one, lead to our encounter that evening… Her reason for comfort food was the incredibly empowering day of training, teaching and searching. Searching for property to expand her business from the basement of her home, into a true and professional studio.
How does all of this pertain to me? Simple. After her tell all experience that was filled with much light and love, very apparently emanating from a higher power, she asked me why I was working in a restaurant when it was obvious I had the knowledge base and skills to be working elsewhere. I began to tell her my own story…
I was working in a restaurant, as it paid the bills. It was nothing fantastic, nothing exciting and what many people would look at as a mere existence. To me, however, it was the base of something much more extravagant. I have written a couple of children’s books and although I would love for them to be on the shelves, the illustrators I’ve found that are completely interested, life seemed to get in the way and illustrations fell through on them. Those books being published are the beginning of my much more grand dreams for myself and the community in which I live.
She asked what I wanted to do after they were published and what type of stories I had written. The first is a more inspirational book, an age & stage book with the mantra; “Live for the moment, laugh through the hard times, love the experience and hope for a brighter tomorrow” throughout. The second is much more light hearted; being a typical day for any parent, but seen through the eyes of a child and all set to poetry. It will be the first of at least two books, when I can find an illustrator who can pull the images out of my mind and put them on paper to reflect all that I envision.
The proceeds from those books, is what I want to use to fund my ultimate goal and dream of a non-profit organization to assist victims of abuse. I want for this to be an all-encompassing organization that will provide a means to escape, a fresh start and the much needed counseling for so many; young and old.
As she could hear the passion emanating through my voice, and the tears well up in my eyes, she reminded me that having a passion so strong only leads to one outcome; success. She couldn’t believe my age when she asked. The look of shock amazed her; knowing that someone who could be out spending her life partying with her friends would rather be working hard to achieve something so grand and truly beneficial to the rest of the world. Why wouldn’t I be passionate about experiences I’ve had myself and moved from the place of a victim into the place of a survivor – and one who will STRIVE!
So as I’ve had a few days to reflect upon all that “table” brought with it, I’ve reaffirmed my ability to dream and see my dreams become a success! I know that every word that has been inspired to meld together in the stories I’ve written and the ones I have yet to write will all find their success through my own higher power and His promise to carry me when the road seems more grim than bright.
Mysti
Romance
Let’s face it, I can be one hell of a hopeless romantic and love romance, in general, in my life. I had heard about a man known for so long as “JP.” He tried, with all of his might, to have a commercial aired during the super bowl to propose to his girlfriend. Even though he attempted to make that feat a success, sponsor(s) backed out at the last minute, leaving no time to find another sponsor to make that dream a reality. In spite of that, Rand continued to search for an option. He thought that a commercial during his girlfriend’s favorite show, Veronica Mars, would be just as incredible for her.
After getting all the details squared away, commercial shot, and sitting down with his girlfriend, watching the show, imagine her surprise when she saw Rand (aka JP), filling up the screen holding a picture of the two of them. Here is the commercial that aired…
Geraldine’s reaction was absolutely phenomenal! I’ve never seen a woman begin to hyperventilate like that.
I, being the person that I am, would love to have that type of romance in my life! WOW! Big congratulations to Rand and Geraldine! You can read all about Rand’s experiences through his quest to propose at www.mysuperproposal.com
Free Writing
Sitting atop the widows peak, gazing out deep into the endless ocean, Evelyn longed for the love she shared with John to suddenly reappear in her life. The darkness of the ocean as the moon glistens upon the water seemed to match all that Evelyn was feeling. Wondering now, how she could continue on with her life without him there seemed a near impossible task. The thirty seven years prior had been filled with so much joy, happiness, leaving her filled with memories to last the rest of her life, even though she questioned living until dawn break.
Her children and grandchildren seemed to be the reasoning for staying put on that peak instead of taking the plunge off the roof, into the desolate rocks beneath. She longs for him, she cries and screams out his name, as it almost echoes amongst the waves crashing on the shore. There isn’t a star in the sky to wish upon and all she wants in the world is to feel his hand brush across her shoulders as he had done for all those years together. She longs to hear John whisper her name just once more… feeling as though all hope is lost, she buckles, falling to her knees and begins to sob. The tears streaming down her wrinkling face find themselves racing to reach the deck below. Taking a deep breath, Evelyn slowly begins to stand once again, clenching to the railing, as she lifts herself off the floor.
She’s decided, she knows what she must do to end all the pain and suffering that she feels. Raising her leg slowly over the intricately designed iron, she finds her footing and begins to raise the other leg, as preparing to take one last plunge in her life; hoping to find her end in this suffering and be reunited with John. As she is taking one final breath, a voice begins calling from within the home they created together… It was her daughter. Upon reaching the widows peak, she reached out to her mother, offering her a hand. The tears again begin to pour down Evelyn’s face as she reaches for her daughter’s outstretched hand. Questioning which way she should go, her daughter softly whispers, “Mom, please. We need you.”
Evelyn found her way back atop the widows peak, staring at the dark ocean view. As she gave her daugher an intense hug, the sun began it’s beautiful rise, bringing hope once again into the heart of a woman so lost and in pain……..
©2007 Mysti Guymon
All Rights Reserved
Valentine’s Day – What’s the Hype?
So what’s the hype? All the stores are riddled with candy, cards, stuffed animals and the like all with hearts and cute sayings. Do they really have a purpose on the shelves and in our lives? Or is there something else that means more by Valentine’s Day presence in our calendar?
Looking at recent years, 2006 brought with it an estimated $14 billion spent on gifts and goodies; 2005 spending approached $13 billion and 2004 at approximately $10-11 billion in sales. It is expected that every consumer will spend approximately $110 in gifts, cards and the like this year. After taking a quick peek at the financial impact this holiday has, have you thought about the marketing costs for companies which only adds to the total dollar spent for this holiday that comes and goes with each passing year. (www.census.gov)
Valentine’s Day has many myths and legends that account for it’s creation in the very early AD years. The history of Valentine’s Day can be found and read on my myspace page. I have always found much enjoyment in learning about the holidays to which we celebrate. This holiday has a particular place in my heart as I can recall being a young child, watching in amazement at the lengths that were traveled to ensure that couples everywhere bestowed in the active celebrations. Dinners for two, flowers, cards, and moments shared alone.
It seems to me that so much emphasis is placed upon one day a year, with thousands even taking the plunge into marriage on the ‘day of love,’ instead of living their lives as though each day was Valentine’s Day. Love and relationships can be quite tricky. There are so many layers to relationships and finding the ‘middle ground’ between two individuals and their hopes, desires and needs can prove to be even more difficult.
As relationships progress, more often than not, the spark seems to fade away by the everyday tasks and issues that have to be handled. It is a rarity in this day and age to see a couple that has been married for 20+ years, let alone someone who reaches the golden anniversary. It has been so easy for people to turn and walk away from relationships because the struggles are too much for the individuals to bear. What would be the impact if couples were to live every day as though it were Valentine’s Day?
The greatest part about Valentine’s Day is couples sharing time together just to be with one another. By taking the time to share all aspects of their lives there seems to be a renewed spark between couples, but all too quickly fades as they return back the the same way they have been living and sharing their relationship.
By taking the time to live each day with your spouse, significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc as though everyday was Valentine’s Day, you are setting yourself up for a relationship that can stand the test of time. Some of the greatest couples I know spend their lives just like this. Every day they are together is a Valentine’s Day and they share their love so openly and freely with one another. Their communication is phenomenal which only aids in their quest to remain a couple until “death do them part.”
For me, Valentine’s Day is just that – a reminder to focus on my relationship as though tomorrow is my last day and today is Valentine’s Day. No matter the length of time that we spend together, it is up to us to make sure that the time we share with someone in our life is spectacular.
Difficulties
To the man I love so much,
The past weeks and even months have been extremely difficult, with the difficulty increasing over the past three or four weeks. We have struggled with the very essence of our relationship as I was far from the person to which you fell in love. I have struggled not being capable of providing everything that I have wanted to provide to our relationship, physically, financially and emotionally.
The Mysti that you met was full of life, ready to jump and face the world around her without batting an eye. I loved the world I had and loved every aspect of my life. I had great quality time with my son, an awesome job, even at times when it sucked royally. I was able to attain an income that many with college degrees don’t even achieve. It was the best of all worlds.
I came here and I lost sight of myself. I became overly bogged down with all the emotional baggage that I had found a way to suppress while in Rawlins. My life as I knew it was over and I couldn’t see through the pain I felt with such a sheer force to see the devastating effects it was having on our relationship. For that I am truly sorry.
I have, however, opted to deal with the issues from my past that have laid their mark upon our relationship as so they won’t be an issue that bogs us down in the future. If you have any doubts about the smile that so easily sees it’s way to my face, doubt no more. In the many keystrokes I have placed upon the keyboard in the past week, I have made them with the intent of letting go of all that weighed on my shoulders and heart. It is my desire for this relationship to be truly successful and last a lifetime that made that choice.
Life is still far from perfect and there are still hurdles left to cross, however, I’m willing to find ways to cross those hurdles so that you and I can get back all that we had and have more. I love you with all of my heart, Rob. You have made such an amazing impact on my life and I look forward to returning the same to you. You deserve nothing less than extraordinary and it’s my quest to give you nothing less.
Thank you for being the person that you are and giving me a push in the right direction.
I love you.
M
